I spent the last two years dating, protecting, listening to, laughing with, joking with, talking to, spending time with, hugging, kissing…loving, a monster.

At the end of this relationship I learned a whole lot about myself and how I need to change. But you? You lost the best thing you’ll ever have.

I can’t tell if I’m really crushin’ on this kid or if I’m just that desperate to get over my ex.

When is the memory of you, us, going to stop haunting me?

I need myself a sexy man with morals, hopes, dreams, ambition, a big heart, loyalty and a nice bod!

Is that too much to ask for?

Jeeze!

I need to vent and cry and blow my nose, then cry some more, and vent some more.

Today sucks. Everything sucks. I miss you terribly.

Fuck.

I don’t want to do homework, I don’t want to work out, I don’t want to answer you, I don’t want to get up at 6am anymore, I don’t want to go to school.

I just want to sleep.

Let me sleep.

I hate that I just found out that ana is an abbreviation for Anorexia. My name is Ana, and I’m a skinny little fucker and everyone assumes that I don’t eat, and I do.

Fuckkkkkkkkkyouuuu.

I feel like I’m always complaining about always being alone, and the few people I care about being so far away.. So out of reach. I feel sad when I think about graduating high school in 5 months and not having someone, a best friend, to share that with. But in reality, I like being alone. Being around people makes me nervous. I haven’t figured out who I am yet, and I always feel like I have to pretend when I’m around you. So if I sit by myself at lunch, or if I don’t stop to talk to anyone between classes, don’t look at me like I’m weird, I’m just like you, I’m just not trying to be someone I know I’m not just to say I have ”friends.”

I have know idea, and I’m stuck. 2 completely different schools, different vibes, different scenes, different lifestyles.

I need a new wardrobe.

I’m so sick of everything that I own!

It really sucks when you invest yourself so much into a relationship, that when it’s over, you realize you don’t have anyone to call and cry to anymore.